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"I'm sorry, Will. I couldn't hold back," my mother apologized."Don't worry about it, mom," I replied, "This is the right place to do that." Yeah but I feel bad doing it when you're here." Mom, if I cared, I wouldn't get in here when you're relieving yourself." You know, I have to do number two too, but I'm afraid the smell will drive you away," my mother said with a sense of humor."Mom, no smell of yours would drive me away. You're my mother, I love all of you AND your smells."That sentence had more meaning than I intended it to have, but whether my mother noticed the undercurrent of those words or not, she gave me the impression to be convinced."Well, okay. Here goes then."After another fart was shot from her butt, I heard the distinct crackling sound of a thick turd forcing it's way out. I could barely contain myself, and I started looking at the reflection of my shitting mom in the mirror. Although not clearly, I saw the shadow of a thick turd, that was lowering down from between. Laurence had, quite sensibly, as soon as she had learnt to drive, persuadedher Papa to give her some money, bought a car and fled Paris with nointention of ever returning. It was Laurence who had told me how the restof the French had felt about Paris because she had seen it and felt it as aParisienne. She had showed me it by the brazen way she overtook traffic onthe right before turning left in her car with her 75 plaqued'immatriculation and with her disdain for the right wing politics of thevineyard owners of Burgundy.Yes, Laurence was, like me "une ?trang?re".Only I did not know it yet. I still thought of myself as "un ?tranger"although with my poor French accent when I first arrived in Beaune I tendedto describe myself as "une ?trang?re" much to the amusement of Laurence andmy fellow teachers. After a few weeks, I got used to the differencebetween "un" and "une" and learnt to shorten "?trang?re" party thanks tothe Fredericks, Goldman and Jones song "Nuit" which spoke of a woman.
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